I came across something called Tinder the other day.
I was struck by the news that a young Australian met an even younger New Zealander through Tinder. But within hours of that meeting, the young woman was dead and the young man accused of her murder.
I am not going to dwell on the details of the case, which is now before the courts.
But it got me thinking. What is this thing called Tinder? How does it work? And does it really result in young people, particularly young women, being put in dangerous situations?
The first two questions are pretty easy to answer.
For the technically challenged, in other words old farts like me, Tinder is a dating app for mobile phones. It is aimed at the 18-30 year old demographic and is a location-based app. Tinder lets you find out about people who live nearby and then anonymously, you may or may not like them. If someone you like likes you, then Tinder makes an introduction and allows you to chat within the app. Does he seem perfectly innocent?
It’s apparently the best thing that’s ever happened to internet dating and the stats tell, or should sell, the story. One billion matches so far, worldwide, which translates to ten million matches per day…every day. It has resulted in 300 marriage proposals and five per cent of the Australian population of 23 million have a Tinder profile. It’s the brainchild of a couple of Southern California entrepreneurs, but it’s owned by a new multinational company.
Tinder is set to be bigger than Ben Hur.
The intriguing ingenuity behind the app is that it is designed as a game with the motto: “just like real life, but better”.
It asks users to log in with their Facebook profile and then make a split-second decision on whether or not they like someone’s physical appearance by swiping left or right. Once a match is made, the rest is up to you.
The result is an app used regularly by everyone from Miss USA to Olympic gold medalists. It’s in such high demand that the company recently announced it would add a checkmark to celebrity profiles. No publicity yet, but that won’t be too far off.
That solves the first two questions. But what about the third question I asked? Does it represent any kind of danger to young people, particularly young women? That question scares me a little to answer. If I had to give a personal impression of Tinder, it could be summed up in something I read today: If a guy walks up to a girl standing in a bar and asks for sex outright, he’ll get slapped. Do the same thing on Tinder and he’ll be available in 5. It’s done away with chivalry, removed the need to make any sort of real connection, and replaced it with instant image-based attraction where one click confirms your intentions almost every time. the same way. carnal type.
Do you think I’m exaggerating? Well, check this out. These are some of the responses from people who actually use this app, men and women. We’ll start with guys because this app really favors men.
Guy number one: “ALL it took for me to answer a couple of questions for a random girl to determine that I had ‘passed the serial killer test’ and that it was safe for her to make a late night house call.” night for one person. bedside table.
“It was late on a Friday night when I got into bed and thought I’d do a quick Tinder check to see if there were any new matches.
“I got a text from a girl I’ve never talked to before asking what I was doing.
“After a bit of back and forth, she and her friend called me, we chatted for a few minutes, she said I didn’t sound like a serial killer, and then she asked for my address.
“She had been to a party where she had seen her ex-boyfriend making out with another girl and wanted revenge.
“Who was I to stand in the way of a scorned woman?
“Shortly after, her friend dumped her, we had a drink to break the ice, and then headed into the bedroom where we had sex.
“He stayed the night, but after he left in the morning we never spoke again.
“Tinder has really been the greatest dating invention for guys.
“With a simple swipe to the right, I can have a random girl in my bed faster than it would take me to buy her a drink at a bar.
“No more having to spend hundreds of dollars going to sweaty clubs, trying to strike up a conversation with a hot girl while your older, unattractive friend acts as a ‘c**k blocker’.
“Real-life social obstacles don’t exist on Tinder and we can be much more daring and brazen from the start.
“However, most of it is small talk that leads nowhere.”
Guy number two: “The weirdest moment I’ve ever had on Tinder is when a girl I met texted me on a Sunday saying ‘Hey, I’m here from Sydney and the people I’m staying with aren’t’ I finish work until 8pm and I need a place to leave my bags while I head out to Nobby Beach.
“I tricked her for about three hours asking her what was in it for me.
“She noticed and we went to Nobbys. She was a primary school teacher in Sydney.
“We ended up going out and she had to call the assistant principal at her school in Sydney the next morning saying she had food poisoning because she was in my bed in the Gold Coast instead of catching her flight home.
“Most of the time it’s small talk on Tinder that fades to nothing, but some girls are pretty daring.
“I usually stay away from girls who use a bikini or lingerie photo as their profile picture.
“Tinder use is much more socially acceptable than it was 12 months ago. A girl breaks up with her boyfriend and jumps on Tinder…not necessarily to pick up a guy, but to boost her self-esteem.
“It’s much simpler to date, but there’s no real connection anymore. One click and you’ve said all your intentions without saying anything.”
“I use Tinder when I’m really bored, but I only talk to girls I want to fuck.”
Girl: “It was like I was out of the loop or something – Tinder – What is Tinder? A colleague of mine explained it to me, “It’s like the new era Hot or Not.” , “If I was your age, I’d definitely be using that app.”
“And so it started, it was like a new toy. She had never been so addicted to using my phone.
“I even let a colleague, who is happily engaged in a long-term relationship, hijack my account, play solo and ‘reject’ and ‘approve’ all possible Tinder guys.
“Just for a laugh, he decided to strike up a conversation with one couple in particular.
“Sex?”
His answer: “Yes” and he was on.
“My colleague and I were unleashing our inner wild child and taking the conversation to a whole new level, things I would never say to a guy in my life. The thing is on Tinder, you can be whoever you want to be.”
A Tinder user tells the story of how her best friend left her underwear at the house of a guy she had known for a couple of hours, but the guy threatened to frame her panties and hang them in her bedroom. charming. Apparently, everyone on Tinder has a story of how they meet a crazy person who made an unwanted and totally inappropriate declaration of carnal lust.
In other words, Tinder is unromantic, seedy, contrived, and shallow. He is born of a generation guided by curiosity, daring, boredom and lust with results as squalid as they are gratifying.
Of course, advocates of Tinder say, believe it or not, that it’s healthy. A way to go out and meet people, gain self-confidence and enjoy life. One Tinder user described it as a baptism of fire for the lonely and the heartbroken, the shy and the nerdy and the fun-seeking. You do it because Tinder will be what you want it to be.
I personally don’t buy it. I don’t think it does anything to further the cause of humanity. But maybe I’m getting old and grumpy.
I’m not going to be the voice of doom and tell you not to use Tinder. But at the same time I would urge users of the app to closely follow the Tinder murder trial in Australia. I’m sure there’s a moral to that story.