When my son was young, we attended a cooperative preschool in Manhattan Beach, California, where the only curriculum was “conflict resolution.” As a result, none of their art centers contained vacation references. The kids didn’t even come home with a Mother’s or Father’s Day card in case one of their students didn’t have both parents in their life.
We moved to Santa Cruz, California in time for my son to start kindergarten. I soon discovered that Santa Cruz had a completely different policy on vacations. To my surprise, one of the kindergarten teachers had a Christmas tree in her classroom! Then during the spring, at my daughter’s cooperative preschool, I was faced with different politics again. One of the art centers contained bunny stickers and Easter eggs. When I brought this to the teacher’s attention, her response was, “Those are not religious symbols.”
It is interesting to note that people have different beliefs about what may or may not be religious symbols. This year there will not be a Menorah in the center because some thought it was inappropriate to have a religious symbol in the post office. Despite this, I am sure that this year there will be many Christmas-related symbols all over the city center. Lights, trees, bells, holly, and more are displayed throughout the city in schools, stores, and other public places.
So instead of beating them, I tell them to join them. Most of the time, Jews are a bit shy of public displays of religiosity because of all the anti-Semitism we have encountered. So here’s a way to stand up proud, along with some strategies for Jewish families with young children. These tips help kids revel in their Jewish identity despite being bombarded by all the fun, brightly colored, and beautiful holiday symbols that just don’t belong to them.
1. When school starts, inform the teacher in advance that your child is Jewish and will be absent on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (our holiday season). Ask for some consideration and don’t plan any special fun and exciting projects on those days so your child doesn’t feel left out. Ask the school board and your principal to put the holidays on their school calendar so that teachers are aware of them.
2. Around Hanukah, ask your child’s teacher if you can come into the classroom to make latkes. Kids love them! Many children ask me year after year if I was going to make latkes and my parents thank me for doing it. If you want, make it a cooking lesson. Make it easy by buying bags of frozen shredded potatoes and diced onion at the grocery store. Or just make them at home and bring them already hot. Read the Hanukah story from a picture book while eating. You can even light a menorah to make it really exciting. After the children have finished eating, teach them to play dreidle. Shelled peanuts work great for the dreidle play kitty, if there are no peanut allergies.
3. Throw a latke party at home and invite friends and family. The chocolate gelt can be used to play dreidle. In our family, each person has their own menorah in the light. My daughter made a beautiful one year old menorah on a granite square. You will need a lot of candles for all those menorahs, but the light is worth it. After the lighting, march around your table, like the Maccabees singing Hanukkah songs. Did you know that it is a tradition for Jewish women to simply sit at the table and enjoy the light while the candles burn? Cook and serve everything first and enjoy this relaxing 20-minute mitzvah of meditation for women only!
4. Use books and CDs to help your children get into the Christmas spirit. There are many children’s books that tell the story of Hanukah. One of my favorite picture books is called “Festival of Lights, The Hanukkah Story” by Maida Silverman. My daughter always loved the sticker book, “Melly’s Menorah” by Amye Rosenberg. For older children, there is a chapter book called “Jason’s Miracle: A Hanukkah Story” by Beryl Lieff Benderly. Even for older children and adults, there is a book called “The Complete Hanukkah Story” by Nissan Mindel. The best CD I have found for Jewish holidays is “To Life! Hanukkah and Other Jewish Celebrations”. Cindy Paley also has a good Hanukkah CD and “A Singing Seder” for Pesach.
5. Being with other Jewish children helps your child know that he is not alone in celebrating holidays that are different from most other children in school. The community can be found in the many synagogues in the city. Also, there are many places for you to learn more about Judaism. My favorite place to go is Chabad.org, where there are tons of articles, mp3 downloads, and videos, all for free. But even if you only know alef, start there, you can teach your children “alef”.
When faced with the beautiful, sparkling, sparkling symbols of Christmas that permeate our society during the “holidays,” know that you can give your children something that they can enjoy and that is yours. Children are content to know that one vacation belongs to another when they have something special that belongs to them. You can be successful in imparting the best that Judaism has to offer by enjoying the many Jewish holidays throughout the year. They may not have the glamor and glitz, but they can provide your children with deep meaning and miracles, a sense of values, and a heritage that they can be immensely proud of.