Intimacy is one of the beautiful aspects that make any relationship precious and delightful. In this article we will shed some light on the key points for developing intimacy in a new relationship.
#1 time: Developing intimacy is far from a race to get there. Intimacy follows its own timetable and has as much to do with the people involved as it does with their history. Give your new partner the time he needs.
#2 Confidence: As we develop intimacy, we need to learn to trust the other person. Confidence comes from having a repeatable positive experience with someone who speaks with integrity and acts trustworthy. Ask your partner what they need to be able to trust.
#3 Assistance: Intimacy is not an activity, it is a state of being. For intimacy to build, you need focused attention that only happens when space and time are right. Leave time, make space.
#4 Eye to eye: Sit quietly with each other, looking into each other’s eyes with no result other than sharing yourself with your partner. The eyes are the window to the soul: let your partner see inside.
#5 Closeness and distance: Intimacy is a delicate flower that sometimes needs more light and sometimes more darkness. Get in tune with your partner’s need for more closeness or more space at times. Remember that you can change at any time; don’t assume, be aware.
#6 Listen: Being a truly great listener is the greatest gift you can give another human being. Being heard and feeling understood will create intimacy, so try to hear the unspoken words within the spoken sentences.
#7 Honesty: Speak with integrity and honesty. This will also build trust between you. Share yourself honestly, you not only develop intimacy with your partner but also allow yourself to truly see yourself: In-to-me-I-see = intimacy.
#8 Share: Intimacy is also about mutual disclosure. Once you share your fears, your shortcomings, your inadequacy and your vulnerability, you allow the other to be human too. Remember to share with diplomacy; Overwhelming your new partner with your innermost secrets might not be right for a first date.
#9 Vulnerability: intimacy is so comforting because it allows for true vulnerability, the part of us that we mostly hide, as it is less socially acceptable. Couples describe ‘just being myself’ as one of the beauties of the relationship, allowing one to be vulnerable.
#10 Acceptance: On the same note as vulnerability is that intimacy is accepting and feeling accepted by our partner. If you want to focus on developing true intimacy in a new relationship, save criticism and your desire to change your partner for later in the relationship.
Intimacy is about letting people get close to you in more ways than one!