empathic They have a natural ability to feel not only their own, but also the emotions of others. This innate ability can be observed in babies. This ability generally declines in childhood as we learn to focus more on verbal cues than emotional ones.
But for some people, the flow of emotional information keeps coming. This can lead to powerful internal conflicts when they pick up inconsistent verbal and emotional messages from people (such as when someone is lying or holding back anger). It can also quickly become overwhelming in social settings where the sheer amount of emotional information can be too much to handle.
emotional intelligence it is defined as “the ability, capacity or skill to perceive, evaluate and manage the emotions of oneself, of others and of groups” (Salovey and Mayer, 1990). Developing your Emotional Intelligence means that you have tools and processes to management these emotional data.
Are you an empath?
- Do you feel anxious or nervous in a crowd (4+ people)?
- You mood vary seemingly randomly (become angry or sad for no apparent reason)
- Do you feel a change in your physical energy level when you’re in a crowd (tired, connected)
- Do you have a difficult time? fall asleep before midnight or do you postpone going to bed?
- Have physical symptoms hearing-related (ringing, clicking, itchy ears)?
- Do you feel emotionally uncomfortable when someone keys or is it close to you?
Disclaimer: This checklist is not a diagnostic or treatment tool. Some of the characteristics of empaths can be diagnosed as ADD, agoraphobia, or clinical depression. Contact your healthcare professional if you have any questions, need a diagnosis or treatment for a mental health problem.
empathic resources
Fortunately, there are more and more resources available online for empaths. Unfortunately, most of these resources suggest a process that is likely to make things worse for you. Any kind of “protective mental shield” is based on the assumption that emotional information is threatening. If you go down that road, you will have to “fight for yourself” for the rest of your life. How exhausting does that sound?
My work is based on results: if it works, keep doing it! As an empath, these are the 3 tools that I find most effective in managing the flow of emotional information that I constantly receive. Try them out and see for yourself which one works best for you.
- Being transparent:
When we feel threatened by our surroundings, we become physically tense and our energy field (the magnetic field that surrounds our body) becomes dense and constricted.
When you notice this tension, imagine that your energy field is expanding, like a gas. The particles are becoming more and more spaced out, making their energy field thinner and much larger. As your energy field loosens, emotions wash through you, like a rock falling into water. Rather than get caught up in your dense energy field, the emotions of others simply flow through you.
- Adjust the volume:
Sometimes the noise of other people’s emotions is so loud that we can’t hear ourselves think! We get confused, we hesitate, we get frustrated. She closes her eyes and imagines two volume dials in front of you that go from 0 to 10. One says “Me” and the other says “Everything Else.” Turn the “I” dial to 10 and the “Everything Else” dial to 0. Instantly, your mind will respond to this request and the chatter will quiet down.
- Progressive Affirmations:
Progressive affirmations can help you get to where you want to be. Keep in mind that affirmations must ALWAYS feel good to be effective. So start with the “easiest” affirmation and say it for a few days. When you feel ready, go to the next level for a few days until you can say the “top” affirmation while feeling good.
- “I am willing to master my empathic abilities”
- “I’m ready to master my empathic skills”
- “I am choosing to master my empathic abilities”
Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. Try doing it in your head before you launch yourself into a difficult situation (like the mall or a party).
Once you are comfortably managing your empathy skills, you are ready to move on to developing your emotional intelligence through the productive use of emotional data in your daily life.