Crime fiction is big business right now, but there are certain situations that have been so overblown that they’ve become genre clichés and everyone knows what to expect next. Here are ten clichés to try to avoid and thoughts on how to subvert clichés if you decide to use them.
policemen and doctors
You can find this perennial favorite in both crime and historical fiction. You’ll see him on ER, NYPD Blue, and on cross-genre shows like the X Files. The doctor says “Okay, but just for a minute” or “It’s a touch and go. The next few hours will be crucial” or “It could be minutes, it could be days… you never know with coma cases.” The cops usually don’t say anything. They just stand and chew the scenery in frustration.
Mulder and Scully actually spend a lot of their time hanging around hospitals, but it’s not very noticeable because the patients aren’t their common criminals or witnesses.
And that’s the way to get around this one. Get a new twist and add some tension. Perhaps the patient is related to the policeman or the doctor. Or maybe the doctor is an amateur detective and knows more than the policeman? But beware of “Dick Van Dyke” syndrome… it takes you into a whole new area of cliché
The new partner
In this scenario, a veteran cop has to get a new partner after the death of the old one. The rookie is eager as mustard and eager to please, or is exhausted by personal problems. He is probably best known in modern times for the Lethal Weapon movies. The writers tried to add some tension early in the series by having Mel Gibson as a borderline suicide case, and that gave the first movie an edge; but it was lost in later installations. By the time the fourth movie came around, they had fallen so deep into a buddy movie relationship that all the drama was lost in favor of light comedy.
You need to do some serious subversion if you want to use this situation. People have tried having a dog as a partner in K9, having their mom as a partner in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, and have foreigners as friends in the great Arnie’s Red Heat.
Outside of strictly police procedure, we’ve also had the robot friend in Robocop, the ghost friend in Randall and Hopkirk (deceased), the alien friend in Alien Nation, the wizard friend in Jonathan Creek, the ex-military friend in Sherlock Holmes and Poirot. The list goes on and on.
Regardless of how you do it, filling in the blanks is easy in this scenario. What you need is something new. How about they assign the cop a politician who does a stint to meet people? Or, on a completely bland but potentially fun level, how about the schizophrenic cop who is his own friend?
The rookie in the morgue
Once the only province of young students in Quincy, this one now appears on television in the CSI or Crossing Jordan franchise and in print in Kay Scarpetta’s books. In general, there are two ways in which you can proceed. Either the young policeman runs off, hands over his mouth, or he stands still, icy cold and distant, while the autopsy proceeds.
Inspector Morse tried to subvert this situation by having the veteran be the squeamish one, but how about having the rookie as the pathologist?
Whatever you do, try not to give the pathologist an opportunity to be smug and condescending while explaining large portions of the plot. In the UK, this is over the top in Silent Witness and Waking the Dead, and just a lazy way to progress the story.
The curmudgeon lieutenant chews the policeman
In movies and TV shows, this happens to every lead, and Clint Eastwood must be tired of it. In the Dirty Harry series, he was rarely out of his boss’s office.
It usually ends with the lieutenant and the cop growling at each other, so how about one of them being completely cool and relaxed? Or what if one of them is deaf?
And if you must write this scene, please don’t use lines like “I’ll have your badge for that” or “I’m not covering for you this time.”
The Muddy Defense Attorney
This was a favorite on NYPD Blue and was guaranteed to go up to Sipowitz’s nose. Once you’ve presented the fancy suit, fancy hairdo, and briefcase, this guy will inevitably say, “My client has no further comment” or “He had no right to speak to him without me.” Everyone knows the rest.
Again, seriousness is needed to put a new spin on this situation. Could your lawyer be an ex-cop who knows all the moves, or a relative or lover of one of the cops? How about a lawyer defending himself? Or a counterculture lawyer covered in tattoos and piercings?
Whatever you do, try to come up with some creative invective. Slimeball, sleazeball, reptile, and shyster have all been overused.
The car chase
Bullitt and The French Connection set the standard, and Gone in 60 Seconds brought it into the 21st century, but this situation has grown tired. There are so many old ladies to avoid, so many road signs to hit, and so many police cars to vandalize before your audience tires.
Over the years, the Bond movies have used just about every possible permutation, so you’ll have a hard time coming up with something new. It would be better to add tension in another way.
In an attempt to appear fresh, the chase element has sometimes been dropped entirely in favor of the race against time like in Speed or Die Hard With a Vengeance. To succeed, you’ll need a good reason for the trip to take place, a disastrous outcome if you don’t succeed, and a few good mistakes along the way.
But beware. Too much carnage and your readers will start thinking of The Blues Brothers. And please don’t make your protagonist drive the wrong way down a one-way street…it’s been done too often.
the shooting
Raymond Chandler’s advice for whodunit writers still holds true. “If your plot is fading, have a man with a gun come in.” However, you must be careful. Too many people still transfer scenes from old cowboy movies almost verbatim to modern cop scenes.
Probably the best recent shootout was on Michael Mann’s Heat. You cared who lived or died, and there was excitement and tension. There’s the trick. Get your readers to have an opinion, not just about your hero, but about the other characters as well. By the end of LA Confidential, we knew everyone involved in the climax, and it was more satisfying to see who lived or died. Lining up one-dimensional people as cannon fodder might work in a Saturday night popcorn movie, but we should aim higher than that.
Gunfights work well on film, but can be a drag in print. Some writers tend to slow things down, especially to take a close look at wounds. Unless you’re careful, it can read like a medical textbook.
And please, don’t have heads “exploding like ripe watermelons.”
The policeman in the cafe
This was used on Chips in every episode, giving them an excuse to show a motorcycle speeding out of a parking lot with loose gravel flying.
He’s also a favorite in most of the aforementioned buddy movies, and especially Starsky and Hutch. They will be in a cafe, reflecting on the reprimand they have received from their boss, when a call arrives. The radio plays, giving them the opportunity to attach a flasher to the roof of their car and go on a car chase, closely followed by a gunfight. Do you see how it is possible to execute a cliché in another? Pretty soon you’d have a whole parcel, but would anyone buy it?
One way to change this scene could be to have an alternate means for the cops to get the message. Could you get them to listen to something on TV? Or how about on a cell phone or laptop… there are multiple opportunities for mistakes, misunderstandings, or criminal actions there, and they haven’t been exaggerated… yet.
good cop/bad cop
The good cop/bad cop interview became a cliché almost as soon as crime fiction began. A good example, almost seventy years old, can be seen in The Maltese Falcon. By now, everyone knows the moves, and your readers will be bored long before the interview is over. Unless you’re being self-referential and ironic, like in LA Confidential, you’ll never make it.
Cracker tried to completely subvert the interview situation by having it conducted by a psychiatrist who played both cops rolled into one. At The Rock, Sean Connery, as a prisoner, told Nicholas Cage what questions he should ask him. He’ll have to come up with something equally innovative if he wants it to work.
How about having two good policemen? Or two bad cops? Or maybe there’s a new computer system designed by psychologists to ask the right questions in the right order? How would your cops and your prisoner handle that?
the strange wife
Why do all fictional cops have relationship problems? This scene always goes the same way. The wife says: “You never see the children anymore.” The policeman doesn’t say anything, because his mobile phone interrupts. You know the rest.
Cracker is again a good example, having gone through this scene in almost every episode. Pacino did a variation with his girlfriend in Heat.
Cracker not only has a failed marriage, but is also a gambler and drinker. In recent years, people have been giving cops more and more problems to overcome, culminating in Denzel Washington’s paraplegic investigator in The Bone Collector. He wouldn’t even try to top that.
Why not original? Turn your policeman into a healthy, stable and happily married man. Now there is a challenge.
Conclusion
The next time you read or watch a police drama, take a look at how many of the above are still in use. They can all happen in any story, and often do… just shuffle the paragraphs, add a murder or two and you’ve got an instant plot.
But unless you can subvert some of the clichés, don’t expect anyone to buy it.