Anyone who has seen an image of an anorexic girl looking in a mirror with a chubby girl staring back at her knows exactly what a distorted image of herself is. But how many times does the image you perceive not accurately reflect the true you? While her body may not have the distortion of the fun house mirror, many times her mind or character will. How you see yourself extends beyond the merely physical.
an accurate reflection
What is a true image of yourself? It means that you perceive yourself as the rest of the world does. It also means that you have to work to keep the image accurate. Sometimes, if a person has grown up with negative things that are constantly being said to them, those things are repeated after they grow up. Make sure the things you say to yourself, your internal dialogue, and the things you allow other people to say to you are accurate.
talk to the mirror
Have a conversation with that reflection staring back at you. Tell him about all the good qualities he has. Remind him of all the accomplishments, big and small, that he has accomplished. Encourage him with positive reinforcement. Recognize failures and describe ways to fix them. When you talk to yourself in that mirror, the goal is to remove distortions and create a positive and accurate perception of yourself. Your goal is absolute self-acceptance; even if you need to work on some things, you have to accept yourself as you are before you can move on.
Learn the difference between constructive and critical
Constructive criticism from other people is a great tool to learn more about yourself and identify your good and bad qualities. However, many people are prone to accepting cynicism and judgmental words that reflect more on the speaker than on the person they are talking about. Do not allow anyone to speak to you or describe you in a way that you know is not fair and accurate. If you would never say those words to another person, then don’t let anyone say them to you.
grow positively
When you have given yourself an accurate image of yourself, develop it. Play on the positive characteristics that you have. The more you develop what is good and strong, the less space and time there will be for what is negative or weak. If you volunteer or help out at your children’s school, that time can’t be spent criticizing yourself for not helping others.
subtract the negative
A person who has really learned to see himself clearly will also remember that everyone has flaws. But instead of dwelling on the flaws, the direction to go is to think of ways to reduce them. If you are aware of a defect, such as impatience, remember to stop for a moment each time you feel it inside of you. Take a deep breath and try to exercise self-control. The more practice you have, the easier it becomes.
Self-fulfilling loops
Your self-image will surely improve as you focus more on developing the positive and reducing the negative. Practices feed on themselves, the more good thoughts and good deeds, the more you remind yourself that you really are a good person. This includes doing nice things for yourself. The fewer negative thoughts you have, the less you’ll focus on things that don’t motivate you positively. Make the effort to put a smile on your face every day with the thoughts you think and the actions you do, and you will naturally form a healthy opinion of yourself!