Not long ago, Mary Patricia and I saw a movie based on the Jane Austen novel. Pride and prejudice. The scenes in which Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy proposed to Elizabeth Bennet made us shudder with disgust.
Mr. Collins’s turn
First, its preamble:
Almost as soon as I entered the house, I highlighted you as the companion of my future life. But before I get carried away by my feelings on this subject, it may be wise to state my reasons for getting married and, furthermore, for coming to Hertfordshire for the purpose of choosing a wife, as I certainly did.
Here are his reasons:
My reasons for getting married are, first of all, that I think it is right for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like me) to set the example of marriage in his parish. Second, I am convinced that it will contribute a lot to my happiness; and thirdly, which perhaps I should have mentioned earlier, which is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honor or whom I call patron.
One can understand that Mr. Collins is a ridiculous character whose actions and speech are deliberately inserted into the novel to achieve much-needed comic relief. But Mr. Collins is not joking, he is very serious!
And speaking of seriousness, we find that the most serious character of the entire cast, Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, uses the same rude and unromantic marriage proposal; a proposal that is even more despicable than that of the obnoxious Mr. Collins.
Mr. Darcy’s turn
Again, a rude preamble: “In vain I have fought. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how much I admire you.”
He offers his reasons below. The exact words may have been too painful for readers at the time; and in a good way the author has the narrator to intimate them only. Instead, the narrator tells us about Darcy’s expectations:
Hears [Mr. Darcy] He concluded by presenting him with the strength of that bond that, despite all his efforts, he had found impossible to conquer; and expressing her hope that she would now be rewarded for her acceptance of his hand. As he said this, he could easily see that he had no doubt of a favorable answer. He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his face expressed true assurance.
When Elizabeth rejects him with a scathing speech whose most memorable line is “… and I had not met you a month before, I felt that you were the last man in the world that he could convince me to marry”, Mr. Darcy, in Instead of making an elegant outing, he insists on remarking on his superiority of status, his superiority of connections, and the vulgarity of Elizabeth’s family members.
Collins and Darcy’s proposal were insults and insults rather than honor and tribute to the beloved. Nothing in his speech projects love but coldness and arrogance.
My turn:
Although she was not even eighteen when I proposed to her, I instinctively knew that the man’s role is to woo the beloved and win her hand in a warm and loving way. I was sure that the man’s speech (proposal) would have to be clear and full of “you” and not “me” or “me”.
How I proposed to Mary Patricia:
When we were between classes, Mary Patricia and I would meet at the sundial or by the sycamore tree in front of Lewisohn Hall. With no experience in lovemaking, and fearful that my nervousness would spoil what might be the most momentous occasion of my life, one afternoon sitting under the old tree I scribbled a few notes on a card. Then, for a few days, I practiced reading my text. Not for a moment did I think about memorizing the speech and reciting it; that in my mind would have sounded insincere since my text was not the way I normally speak.
One good day and at the most propitious and charming moment, and as under the spell of a divine force, while we were under the sycamore, this is what I read to you:
Since we met, you have made me a better student, a better person: kinder and nobler. And now I have a burning desire to succeed in life; not because of me, not because of my family, but because I want you to think of me as a worthy person.
If I always feel compelled to hold your hand and hug you, it is because I want to make sure that you are human, that you are not an angel or a goddess. I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you by my side, because you and your music are everything to me now: when I am awake I think of you, when I sleep I dream of you, and in my dreams you are my hypnosis, my delirium and my peace.
After reading my doodles, and when I got down on my knees, I asked Mary Patricia:
“Do you want to marry me? Do you want to marry this poor boy from the Andes who was born to love you forever?”