It is very common to fear that when your husband walks out the door and has made it clear that he is leaving the marriage, all is lost. Most wives will assume that this is just the first step in a divorce and that the marriage will eventually die slowly and be over. This does not have to be the case at all. If she wants her husband back (even after she’s gone), she’ll have to avoid some behaviors and focus hard on others. Some of these behaviors and tactics will seem strange or risky, but they are actually the safest and most sensible way to go because they ensure that her husband returns voluntarily and that he is “okay” to be with you and committed to the wedding. It may feel like a victory if she can talk or trick her husband into coming back, but in reality, this is just a short-term victory that will often backfire later on. In this article, I will discuss tips and advice that are meant to help you make your husband want (with all his heart) to come back and save the marriage once and for all.
Understand why he really left (regardless of what he is saying in words): Often when women email me with statements like “well my husband just left me, now what do I do?”, my first question is always “why, exactly, did he leave?” There is usually a silence followed by a whole series of things that “could” be a cause. They’ll tell me things like “he says he’s not in love with me anymore”, or “he says it’s not me, it’s him”, or “he doesn’t tell me anything, he just doesn’t want to be”. never married again.”
Sometimes the answer seems clear, like he’s having an affair or running off with another woman. However, regardless of what she says in body language or words, each of these reasons is actually due to something similar: a lack of intimacy and connection with his wife. Some men will be sad about this, but will want to go out anyway. Some men are angry or disappointed. Some men close all together. However, the result is always the same: these men have lost the feeling of “being in love” and being intimately connected with their wives and do not know how to get it back or do not feel that it can be regained. back from the dead again. (Of course, you suspect this isn’t true. So you have to (very cleverly) show him the flaw in his thinking.)
What men really want from their wives (although they may not even know it or can’t explain it):I know that a husband’s lack of explanation and communication can be maddening. I can’t tell you how many women tell me “if she knew what she wanted, she would give it to her, but he won’t tell me and everything he tries goes wrong.” Well, believe it or not, men are a lot like us. They usually think they shouldn’t have to tell us and often can’t articulate what they want very effectively. But, some of them visit my site and talk to me. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that many of them want the same things that everyone wants (including us).
They want to feel deeply loved, fully understood, highly valued, highly competent, highly appreciated, and absolutely deserving of their time and attention. They want to happily have fun with you. They want to have positive feelings, not negative ones based on shared positive experiences. They don’t want to have to compete for this with their boss, their elderly parents, their children, or their other obligations. I know this sounds harsh. It’s hard. But, this is the truth as I know it. They want that connection and commitment that they felt when you first fell in love. Please don’t use this information to feel down or think it’s too late. I’m telling you this because I think it’s not too late, but I think you have to know what he wants to give it to him and get it back. However, this will require some finesse. You can’t seem desperate or like you’re acting up when you do this. Let’s go for it.
What you need to know (and do) on your quest to get your husband back:So now we know what your husband wants. And, before taking any action, you must always remember two things. First, you want to always appear attractive (this is not just physical) and you want to create positive experiences. When I say attractive, I don’t necessarily mean your physical appearance (although you should keep this in mind and do your best). No, what I mean is that, as I have explained, a woman who is most attractive to a man is one who fully “gets” him and what he is, but passionately loves him anyway and shows it to him regularly. That said, men don’t find women who try too hard or are “yes wives” attractive. They like interesting, busy, self-confident and attractive women. It’s a huge ego boost for them to know that a woman who has so much to do will take the time and effort for them. So you can’t have only one part of this equation. So how does this work in real life? Like this.
The best way to show your husband the woman he fell so in love with is to bring back the attributes he loved the most. This is a difficult exercise for many women because it is difficult to look at oneself in this way. But I can tell you what men overwhelmingly tell me and that is that they love a woman with a laid back sense of humor, an open heart, a keen interest and a woman who can take the time to really understand and appreciate them. Her husband most likely fell for someone with a quick wit, a ready smile for him, and someone who took the time to figure out what would lighten her load and brighten her day and then took action.
Now, it’s obviously gone, so you don’t have immediate access to it. But I bet you know where he is or where he hangs out. However, you don’t just show up there, with this plan in hand. No, you go out with friends first (mutual friends are the best) and put a smile on your face. You show the best of yourself with the full intention that he will discover it. After a reasonable time has passed, you meet him or, if necessary, arrange a meeting where you need to return something or exchange something. You make sure that he knows that the woman he fell in love with is still there and that she is busy and moving on. You behave with dignity and respect. You are optimistic, cheerful and always focus on positive interactions. Eventually, he won’t try to avoid you anymore and will probably want to see you more because this new you is quite an intriguing thing.
Always let him take the lead and never be the initiator or push too hard. Again, you are the open-hearted, vibrant woman who would love to save her marriage, but who respects her husband enough to deal with this situation as positively as possible, fully confident that this new person ve will remind you a lot. of someone he once loved so much that he married her.