Everyone perceives life through their own lens. We all personalize our stories, determine that our childhood was horrible – or just stinky – and we choose to get stuck repeating our victim stories over and over in our heads and with others. It is a challenging truth to face. However, if you could get out of yourself and look at yourself like someone else would, I think you would see someone much cooler than the person you see in the mirror.
We are so hard on ourselves that we can’t even recognize our greatness. When you can notice the good in yourself instead of everything you think is pathetic about yourself, you will be empowered to make lasting changes in your life, in the lives of others, and you will finally be able to attract your man. Imagine that you are your best friend writing an introduction of yourself for an amazing event that will be held in your honor. What is amazing about you? Put on your actor’s hat, give up your modesty and brag girlfriend, because you are amazing!
I know it sucks being alone on vacation, but I promise. thousands of people are experiencing much worse difficulties than you are currently experiencing. While there may be people who do better than you, there are also people who do worse than you. If you’re going to compare yourself to others, make sure you’re being fair in your comparisons, because otherwise you’re just finding reasons to keep punishing yourself.
If you are honest with yourself you will realize that your life is not so bad.
· Do you have a place to live?
Food to eat?
· Clothes on the back?
· Family who loves you?
When it comes down to it, those are the important things, and everything else is just a circumstance that you can change. You can even change the family part by creating your own family if you don’t have one at the moment or prefer to change it to a model that works better.
My family is very different from what I thought it would be at 45 years old. I thought I’d be chasing a couple or three kids, creating a happy home. Instead, Mario and I get to play with our dog Roscoe every night and have a different happy home. Sure there are days when I wish I had children of my own, but my girlfriend helped me put that thought into perspective by reminding me that I can be a mom to any child, they don’t have to be my own.
Now I embrace the freedom that the family life that I have offers me. I can borrow from Mario’s nieces, nephews and grandchildren periodically and not have the stress that parenting can bring. Instead, I channel my energy into building multiple businesses that bring me a lot of satisfaction. I am raising a different kind of child.
Anyway, the conclusion is it’s all about your perspective. You can choose to see your life differently and you can start right away. Instead of remembering all the bad things that happened to you, Focus on some of the good things. Or choose to see some of the bad things as opportunities for personal empowerment. You would not be who you are today without those experiences. Many times they served to make us stronger or gave us a purpose greater than ourselves. Many life paths have been carved from stories of personal tragedies. My dad died when I was four years old.. My mom spent three or four nights a week at the bar with my stepdad until the wee hours. I learned to be extremely independent and resourceful.. These are traits I wouldn’t trade for anything now, and wouldn’t have if I didn’t go through what I did.
This strategy can also be applied to your beliefs about relationships. If you believe that all men cheat, remember someone in your past who hasn’t cheated on you. Or find evidence of other faithful men that exist in the world, because there are many. If you think there are no good men left, it is because you are not willing to see them., because there are many of them out there who are also looking for a great girl to spend their life with. I know because I run into them all the time. I find them because I have the belief that exist plenty of the good men of the world.
If you believe that you are unlovable, or unworthy in some way, remember a time when you received love, affection, a loving touch, or validation of any kind from someone in your life. It doesn’t necessarily have to be from your parents. We always find ways to get what we need. We just need to stop complaining about what we don’t have and start being more grateful for what we do have.. Let’s look at the good things instead of the bad. Even if it’s just a small good time, you can make it your mantra and grow it in your subconscious mind to attract many more good things into your life.
If you’re feeling particularly lonely and down this year, I encourage you to find ways to help others. You’ll realize that you don’t have it so bad after all.
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, animal shelter, hospital, or assisted living facility this holiday season. (You never know you might find your man doing the same thing!)
- Create camaraderie by inviting a few single friends over for drinks or a meal. (One of these friends could introduce you to your man, it happened to me!)
- Practice random acts of kindness buying coffee for the person behind you in the coffee shop. Pick someone from the phone book and anonymously send them $20-$100 just because. Write handwritten notes to your friends and family expressing your gratitude or something you like about them. Write a handwritten note to yourself, too, and ask someone to send it to you later.
- Start doing things you always wanted to do and never did. I regret when I lived in Miami and the Florida Keys that I never learned to dive or deep sea fish. There should be something that interests you that you can explore. It could be as simple as finding a club to play cards. I looked for places that offered Robert Kyosaki’s Cash Flow Game. I didn’t meet my man there, but I did meet an investment partner, who Mario and I are doing deals with now, and Mario and I played the Cash Flow Game on our first date!
- Play upbeat music and dance in your living room when you decorate your home for the holidays. Getting your body moving feels good and helps your cells become stronger and positively charged to be magnets for attraction. Your face blushes, you feel alive, you have fun, and all of those things are sexy! Plan a trip to the store afterwards, your man might be looking for the same kind of pasta sauce he likes.
- Clean out a closet, organize your photos, make a hit list, or create a vision board. Clearing clutter for clarity is a powerful process for sending a message to the Universe that you are done with the old and ready to welcome in the new. Clear out a drawer and designate it for your man. Don’t tell anyone until you know it’s time. It will be your little secret until it shows up for you.
When organizing your photos, focus on positive and happy memories. Think about the good times you had with your family, friends and lovers from the past and remember how good your life has been. Creating a NEW vision board is also extremely powerful, because creative projects are very therapeutic and help you get very clear about your preferences. So dust off that old one, get out your magazines and computer pictures, and start cutting and pasting!
Your life is not as bad as you have imagined it in your head. Feeling sorry for yourself and worrying about it are coping mechanisms that helped you as a child and no longer serve you now. Your mind is extremely powerful, and it’s also basically just a computer, it can only put out what you put into it, so why not put in thoughts of empowerment and love about yourself, your life, and beliefs about others? We can find evidence to support any thought we have, so Let’s look for evidence that supports what we want in life instead of what we don’t want..
You can have an amazing life, filled with the work, people, and circumstances you love and enjoy. You just need to believe that this can be true for you and it all starts with changing a thought today. Why not start by watching and helping others this Christmas season to change their perspective from “Poor me” to “How can I help you”. When you get out of yourself and into others, suddenly your life looks so much better.. It’s just a change in perspective, which is the definition of a miracle. Why not create your own Christmas miracle this year? Everything depends on you!