the constants
In every relationship there is the presence of two constants. The first is the concept of quid pro quo This is a Latin term meaning “something for something.” In a more common understanding, it simply means a barter for an exchange.
quid pro quo in its simplest form it is nothing more than the common exchange of “good morning”. Party A extends this greeting and the return is party B saying, “yes, good morning.” This is an exchange and it started with what we call a common courtesy. Of course, quid pro quo it can be much more complex than this. My only point is that every relation has the constant of quid pro quo.
A barter for an exchange
Now some may ask where is the barter in that example? Well, barter is defined as the action or system of exchanging goods or services without using money. Some definitions use the word commodities instead of the word services. A commodity is something of great value. Who can argue that common courtesy is not something of great value?
So yes, every relationship has a constant of quid pro quo. Now you can sayI do what I do without expecting anything in return“. That’s not entirely honest. The expectation, in this case, is that your actions will bring visible and sincere joy to another. There is the exchange, your actions bring joy to another. In return, you can see the joy of the other. It gets even better when the other shows their appreciation.
the other constant
Which brings us to the other constant. That’s it reciprocity. Reciprocity is the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit. In other words, I do for others with the understanding that later they will do for me.
Now don’t confuse this. We do not always do for others with an agenda or ulterior motive. We often do what we do out of kindness. However, the act of kindness towards others often motivates the desire to do for you. That’s how we got to the phrase, “I owe you one.”
So why currency?
So what does all this have to do with currency? The coin, or money, is simply a symbol for the above constants. However, I would say that the currency is more than a symbol. It is a phenomenon.
We accumulate currency so that when we need something we have something to offer for what we need. That easy! It works the same in relationships. We accumulate money by doing deeds or by giving desirable objects to others. A highly desirable object is appreciation or gratitude. Gratitude expressed through an attitude of thanks. If we practice this, we are building currency.
With enough currency, we can often get what we need or even want. So the idea is to make frequent deposits so that when we need to make a withdrawal we have money available.
conflict and currency
I have clients who are in conflict with each other. Conflict places burdens on the constants. When one is in conflict, it mitigates against the free flow of currency. Replace the constants with a concept called Law. Entitlement is the feeling or belief that you deserve to receive something (such as special privileges). There’s no need to reciprocity or even quid pro quo. This idea of entitlement often exists, whether it is deserved or not. Hence, giving way to the cycle of conflict.
conclusion
My suggestion! Think about your checking account. You deposit currency so that when needed you can make withdrawals. No deposits, no coins available. Then, just when you want or need it most, you get the dreaded Insufficient Funds Notice.
That is the currency of relationships.