This week, the Gracious Lady of the Parochial House made a little slip. For her it was a small slip, but for me it was a big mistake.
It’s not always that she makes mistakes that I can benefit from. I don’t make this public, especially within her reach, but there are times when she makes a mistake, and I’m always on the lookout for those times.
When it comes to me, I’m always making mistakes. I’m not sure I can make a little slip because mine are so much bigger. And the problem with this is that the Gracious Mistress of the parsonage always catches them and sometimes, I don’t know how she does it, she catches them before I catch them.
She calls it “woman’s intuition”, but I call it “man’s problem”.
Last week, for example, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist. I was going to pick up my new glasses, and I was looking forward to it. I told my wife that the doctor’s appointment was on Wednesday. She answered and said, “No, I think it’s Thursday.”
“It’s my date,” I said, with both hands on my hips, “and I’ll come whenever I want.”
She looked at me, chuckled, and then went back to what she was doing. I think I heard her mumble something like, “She’s 13 again.”
I got to the ophthalmologist’s office, walked in while I was putting on my mask (I don’t really like these masks), walked up to the counter and checked in. Then I went to sit and wait for them to call me.
Within minutes, a nurse came up to me and said, “Mr. Snyder, what are you doing here today?”
“I’m here to pick up my glasses.”
“Sorry, your date isn’t until tomorrow.”
I looked at her with one of my stunned looks and then said, “Could I camp here until tomorrow?”
I had to go home and tell my wife that I was wrong and she was right. If she had a nickel for every time I admitted I was wrong, she would be a very rich person.
But this week, my wife made her mistake and I was able to profit from it.
She came home from shopping at Publix, and I think without even thinking about it, she said as she walked into the kitchen, “The Girl Scouts are selling cookies at Publix today.”
There are many things that she says that I cannot hear. I’m not sure if it’s my ears or what. For some reason, I picked up this sentence about Girl Scout cookies.
I tried to remain silent and calm. I knew that if she aroused any enthusiasm, she would realize what she told me. According to her, I am very limited in terms of the cookies I can eat. Her preference would be that I don’t eat cookies while I have breath in my nostrils.
I remember when he told me, “You can’t eat cookies!”
I smiled because she didn’t know what she was saying. A double negative is equal to a positive. Most people don’t understand that.
The next step was to figure out how to get out of the house and go to Publix without anyone in the house knowing.
I didn’t know how I would do this. I thought about it and tried to come up with the perfect plan.
Then an opportunity opened up that I could never have anticipated.
“I forgot something at Publix,” my wife said, “would you have time to go to Publix and pick this up for me?”
I find it very difficult to master hilarious laughter in circumstances like this. I worked hard and solemnly said, “Oh dear. I can go right now and there is no problem.”
As if by magic, I disappeared from the house and started the car before I got in and headed to Publix. All I could think about was those wonderfully delicious Girl Scout cookies. After all, when I buy Girl Scout cookies, I’m helping support some young girls in need. That is my story, and I will stick to it.
Approaching the girls from Publix, I almost forgot what I had come to pick up.
I looked at them and said, “I’ll come back after shopping.”
I always keep my word, and I went back, and since I couldn’t make up my mind which cookies I wanted to buy, I did the gentlemanly thing and bought one of every cookie they had for sale. How much it cost has nothing to do with my desire for these cookies.
When I put the bag on the kitchen table, my wife looked at it and said, “Those aren’t Girl Scout cookies, are they?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted me to buy?”
She just stared at me, but all she could think about was eating that first cookie.
As I reveled in eating that first cookie, I was reminded of what David said in one of his Psalms: “Delight yourself also in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
As much as I delight in these cookies, my greatest delight is in the Lord. As I delight in the Lord, I enjoy all the niceties of that relationship.