No two people or two relationships are the same. However, there are still common problems that most people face that create challenges and conflicts within a marriage or other long-term interpersonal relationship. Therefore, taking a look at the most common causes of divorce gives an important perspective on what is happening in the world in general and, perhaps, in turn, in your own life as well.
A study by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts found six common causes of divorce in one survey. At the top of the list was incompatibility, with 43% of the total. Now this is a trap that could represent a wide range of more specific reasons. In some cases, the incompatibility can be due to communication problems or an inability to get along or coexist peacefully, in others, it can represent different life priorities, a change in those priorities, and many other reasons.
The second most commonly cited cause of divorce was infidelity. This category obtained 28% of the total and also included what was defined as other sexual problems. Therefore, this could also refer to a general sexual incompatibility, a lack of physical attraction or sexual interest, decrease or interruption of sexual activity, etc. Beyond one partner cheating another, there are other issues at play as well, though sometimes those end up happening in the same scenarios, one causing the other.
Money problems and arguments were the third common cause listed, at 22%. This is an area that comes up over and over again in marriages. It is a cause of stress both personally and interpersonally, and it also has a wide array of other related issues, such as job status, career path, spending habits, and monetary priorities. That means that even for a couple with some level of financial security, how you choose to spend that money is also important. Whether it’s investing it, paying off debt, prioritizing vacations or other forms of available spending, saving for retirement, buying a home, etc.
Emotional or physical abuse was the fourth most common cause of divorce, accumulating 5.8% of the total survey. While physical abuse is what most of us think about, it is also important to consider the serious negative consequences of ongoing or long-term emotional abuse.
Two other causes were mentioned, with parenting problems and addiction problems, including alcoholism. Each of them got less than 1% of the total.
If any of these sound familiar to you, they are certainly representative of most of the problems we face in relationships. The numbers will likely vary in other surveys or with different sample sizes, and other causes may be included as well. It is also worth noting that many of these problems are interrelated, with one coming with or causing another.
For anyone who may be facing divorce, it is important that you do everything you can to prepare. Talk to a qualified legal representative in your local area who can advise you on the best way to proceed. As these common causes of divorce show, you are certainly not alone, whatever it is that specifically brings you to this point in time.