Now that some or all of the fabric of someone’s life has been removed, it could be in very bad shape. In a way, it could be like they’re on dry land and now they’re trying to keep their heads above water.
To be clearer, their emotional self will be all over the place and it may be difficult for them to think clearly. Also, their sense of identity might have more or less disappeared, making them feel completely lost.
an analogy
What they have been through will be very similar to what happens to an ice cube that is placed in warm water. Before you put it in the water, it will be a solid object, but when you put it in the water, it will lose its solidity.
However, while it will be clear why the ice cube has melted, what will not be clear is why one is experiencing life in this way. It could make absolutely no sense to whoever it is, and since this is so, what they are going through could be terrifying.
back in time
Before all this happened, they may have had a pretty ‘normal’ life. For example, they might have had a fairly rewarding job, spent a fair amount of time with friends, socialized, and even had several different hobbies.
This is not to say that they always felt good about themselves or that they always experienced inner peace, but their inner world might not have caused them too much trouble. Then there would have been nothing within them that would have created the impression that they were having a difficult time.
just as surprised
In addition to being shocked by what you’re going through, the people in your life may also have a hard time understanding what’s going on. At the same time, one might try to hide what is happening from the people in their life.
This could happen by not going out as much or responding to messages or calls. Some of the people in your life might take it personally, believing that they themselves have done something wrong.
The ideal
If you don’t try to hide what’s going on, or just can’t hide what’s going on, it’s easier for you to get the help you need. If they don’t receive any support, they could easily go overboard and call time in their current incarnation.
One will be in a very vulnerable position and may need a lot of support to get back on their feet once more. Also, what they are going through will not be resolved overnight, so they will need to call on all the strength and courage within them to come over to the other side.
a key component
It has been said that where there is a will there is a way, and one will have to stay connected with their will to live. This will play a big part in allowing you to slowly move beyond what might currently seem insurmountable and live a life worth living.
When it comes to raising a functional child, it has been said that it takes a village. It won’t take a village to get you through this, but it will take a certain kind of support that your friends may not be able to provide, and even if they can support you, they may not even know what that is. they actually need to be able to move forward.
Two worlds
That being said, the big question is: why has someone gone from a seemingly united human being to someone who has literally fallen apart? From someone who was a productive, and even highly capable member of society, to someone who just can’t function or even do basic tasks anymore?
The reason this happened could be because his unresolved childhood trauma was triggered, causing his false self to break down. The me they had would have been built on sand.
The trigger
If they were to think about what was going on in their life before they fell apart, they might find that they experienced a loss of some kind. Perhaps they lost their job, lost a loved one, and/or had a breakup.
After this happened, it would have been like they had a self-destruct button and this button was pushed. Like Humpty Dumpty, they would have fallen apart.
slightly different
Then again, it may not be this black and white, as they might have fallen apart over a certain period of time. They would then have experienced a series of losses, each one wearing them down.
Just like the final straw, it would have only taken one small thing to bring them down. Some or all of the external structure that had kept their trauma at bay for so many years and allowed them to function would be gone.
Way back
What this might illustrate is that your early years were a time when your developmental needs were rarely, if ever, met. By not receiving the love and care they need to go through each developmental task, it would have caused them a lot of pain and prevented them from growing.
This would have stopped them from developing a strong core (sense of self) and the ability to manage their own emotions, among other things. Years would have passed and they might have seemed fine on the outside, but they would have had to develop a false selves to keep their trauma at bay.
the clock was ticking
Disconnecting from her pain, or from her body to be more exact, would have been the only way to survive. If this had not happened, the pain they were in would have ended their lives.
The external structure that was around you from that time until your adulthood would have played a key role in your ability to manage life and hold it together. But even though what happened had been forgotten by his conscious mind, his unconscious mind hadn’t forgotten it, and this part of them would have been trying to get his conscious mind’s attention.
Conscience
For years, the defenses you had in place would have kept most of this pain at bay, but like a wall that breaks down after a certain amount of pressure has been exerted, the energy (or emotional material) in your body would have been gradually reduced. broke through his defenses. Like a wave, this energy will have consumed your being.
If you can relate to this and are ready to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.