Are you watching “The Next Food Network Star” on the Food channel?
Well let me fill you in. This is a reality show where 10-15 chefs fill out to have their own cooking show on the Food Network. All of these chefs are judged not only on how they cook, but also on their ability to shine like a good TV star should.
On the first or second show of the season, one of the chefs, Tommy, couldn’t stop his hands from shaking as he served up his bouillabaisse. It was obvious that he was really nervous. So at judging time, just before someone was kicked out, one of the judges said to Tommy, “Hey, even if you’re nervous, don’t show it. Don’t let us see you sweat.”
Basically, he told her to fake it.
My stance has always been to pretend nothing. Be real, be yourself and don’t try to hide anything from your audience. Why? Because it will split your energy and attention and create three times as much work for you trying to act AND say your message at the same time.
But more importantly, the make-it-it-make-it approach only reinforces the myth that you are not enough just the way you are. And it is this myth that causes the fear and anxiety around public speaking in the first place.
But are there times when it’s appropriate to pretend? I guess so.
auditioning
If you’re auditioning for a big role, like the Next Food Network Star, go ahead and pretend. Because, in a way, you’re auditioning to be someone else. You are auditioning for a role. So in this case, your ability to fake it might be an advantage rather than a disadvantage.
But when you’re speaking, you’re not auditioning. You already have the part. And that part is being yourself, being real, being honest, and telling it like it is.
When you’re sick or out of your mind
If you’re sick as a dog, or just received terrible news, and you have to give a speech, you never want to take your bad mood out on your audience. In that case, put on a happy face and tell yourself, “It’s Showtime, folks!”
But you can still be you. You can even tell the audience what’s going on without apologizing, making excuses, or breaking down. Sometimes stating the obvious can be a huge relief to you and your audience, because if you feel really bad, chances are they know something is wrong. You could also say, “Wow, I’ve got a cold and my head is spinning” without using it as an excuse or apologizing.
Before, not during
The best time to fake it is when you are preparing for your speech, not during it.
Take your time to pretend in your imagination. Close your eyes and imagine standing in front of your audience feeling fabulous and on fire. Practice in your mind those qualities and feelings that you want to have when you are speaking.
By using your imagination in this way, you connect with your own inner trust that already exists within you. You are practicing being connected to it, having it when you speak. So, you are not faking so much as you are calling it from within yourself.
Therefore, there are times when the best option is to pretend. But why fake it when you can honestly and genuinely feel completely confident, no matter what?