Many relationships have been destroyed by the issue of jealousy. However, sometimes it is not so much jealousy but rather envy and greed that is the real root of the problem.
Here is a brief definition of each before going into a larger discussion of these.
Jealousy – The fear of losing something that you feel already belongs to you.
Greed: The desire for what is not yours and is currently unattainable as it belongs to someone else or is beyond your ability to obtain.
Envy – The desire for what is not yours and the resentment of the person who really owns it.
JEALOUSY
People get jealous in a relationship when they feel someone else is trying to destroy, steal, or take over that relationship. A woman gets jealous when she thinks her man spends too much time with or around another woman. A man gets jealous when he sees another flirt with his girlfriend or wife.
Jealousy is a natural defensive emotion that seeks to prevent the loss of something important to that person. This emotion, however, is very powerful. It has caused all kinds of irrational behavior ranging from self-withdrawal to outright violence.
The Bible teaches, in the book of Proverbs, that jealousy is the wrath of man. When a man or woman gets jealous, he often becomes irrational and can get angry with the person he loves.
The Bible tells us that God becomes jealous when He sees His people being seduced by the religions of false gods. In fact, the Bible clearly says that God is a jealous God. Interestingly, there is not a single biblical reference that says that jealousy is wrong. Can it lead to things that are wrong? Absolutely.
Jealousy is the direct result of a strong emotional attachment to another person. If that emotional attachment did not exist, there would be no jealousy. You can see it as a sign that someone cares. But the rage that jealousy often produces is usually very dangerous and deadly.
GREED
Greed is the emotional desire and attachment to something that is not yours and is currently unattainable. The Bible clearly forbids us to covet our neighbor’s wife. When we allow an emotional attachment and desire for someone who has reserved themselves for someone else, we are walking on very treacherous ground.
One could say that it is greed that produces jealousy. When a husband begins to covet a life outside of his marriage, he is bound to provoke his wife to jealousy. When a woman begins to covet an already married man, she will provoke that man’s wife to jealousy.
Greed is a sign of discontent. If you are beginning to look for a happy life outside of your marriage, you clearly need help with your marriage. This discontent often provokes jealousy in others, which only makes the problem worse.
There are two ways to be happy. First, you can get anything you want. This is a lousy way to be happy, because you will never get everything you want in life. Second, you can want what you already have. This is a much simpler and deeper means of achieving happiness. If you love your wife, if you love your husband, you are not going to look elsewhere.
TO ENVY
Envy is perhaps the most dangerous of the three. Envy is a combination of greed and hatred for the person who has what you want. When you walk past a nice big house and say, “That should be mine! They have no right to it!” that’s envy. When you see the woman you wanted to marry or date another man and say, “That idiot! He should be with me! He doesn’t deserve her.” that’s envy
Not only will you be unhappy, but you will seek to insult the person who you think is standing in your way of getting what you want. I recently read on one of these Internet forums a request for help from a woman who had fallen in love with another woman’s husband. He wanted ideas on how to sabotage her marriage so he could have a chance with him. that is envy she is willing to insult or hurt the other woman, and possibly the man as well, just to satisfy her own desires.
Envy is incredibly dangerous. It leads to bitterness and hatred towards other people. Avoid it at all costs.