Wipe that frown off your face. With insurance sales, you need to constantly use motivation for yourself and talking to customers. Give yourself a shot of some humorous medicine to start your day off on the right track. Sit back and enjoy some insurance jokes. After a rough day, a giggle or even a smile can help make your sometimes difficult career a little bit happier.
1. Three wishes A life insurance financial advisor walking on the beach finds a unique, oddly shaped bottle. She rubs it trying to read the label. Instantly a Genius honest to goodness appears. The genie baffles him by announcing, “I’ll grant you three wishes, but because I fear Satan, every wish I grant you, your biggest competitor will get twice as many.” Before speaking, and being a financial advisor, he reflected on how this could work in his favor.
The first wish was for $20,000,000 in cash. “Granted” said the genie and your rival has $40,000,000 in cash. The second wish was a Ferrari of the highest quality. Instantly, a brand new Ferrari drives past this massive pile of cash. The Genie replies: “2 new Ferraris will hit your competitors’ business in minutes.” Now the financial insurance takes a long pause, not wanting his rival to finish ahead of him. He finally tells the Genie that he is ready for his last wish.
“Which is your latest which?” the Genie asks him, then reminds him that the request will be double for his rival. The insurance financial advisor responds. “I want to donate one of my kidneys for transplant.”
2. STAY FIT Life insurance agents always tell you to stay fit “You have to stay fit. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Today she’s 97 and we don’t know where the hell she is.” by Ellen DeGeneres
3. LEARNING INSURANCE TRICKS A new life insurance salesman in need of a boost turns to his successful vacuum cleaner salesman friend. His friend says, “Selling is easy, you don’t even need leads, you just have to get their attention first.” He tells the life insurance salesman to come with him.
Both sellers appear in the old house of an old woman. Before allowing the woman to speak, the vacuum cleaner salesman rushes into the living room and dumps a huge bag of nasty dirt onto the clean carpet. He says confidently, “If this new vacuum doesn’t pick up everything, then I’ll eat all the dirt.” The woman loses patience, saying, “Sir, if I had enough money to buy that thing, I would have paid the electricity bill before they cut it off. Now what does she prefer, a spoon or a knife and fork? “
4. SURVIVAL AWARD An insurance agent was filling out an application and got to the health history part. He asked his client how his grandfather died. This was the initial response from his client. “I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather… Not scream and scream like the passengers in his car.”
5. PREMIUM PAYMENTS A life insurance in your mailbox receives a peculiar note along with a blank premium payment stub. In the note, the lady mentions that unfortunately it is necessary to cancel her husband’s life insurance policy. She writes, “We have always paid it on time. But since my husband’s sudden death, due to financial difficulties, he will no longer be able to pay it.”
6. RETIRED INSURANCE AGENT A retired insurance agent, now in his 70s, is on the operating table awaiting anesthesia before heart surgery. He insists that only his son, a surgeon, perform the operation. He beckons to his son. His son asks: “Yes, dad, what is it?”. The retired agent replies: “Don’t be nervous, do your best, if something goes wrong, remember that your mother will live with you and your wife for the rest of their days.”
7. PERSISTENT AGENT The business owner turns to the life insurance agent and says, “You should be very honored to have the opportunity to speak with me.” He continues: “So far, my secretary has turned down seven insurance agents!” The agent replies, “I know, I’m them.”
8. THREE ELDERS Three retired men were speaking, one a former insurance executive, another a minister and the third a retired hairdresser. The subject of what their grandchildren might say about them 40 years from now came up. The insurance executive stated, “I’d like to remember how successful he was in selling insurance.” The minister then said, “I want you to say that he was a loyal family man.” The barber then responded, “Me? I want everyone to say that he certainly looks good for his age.”
9. LATE PROPOSAL Good old Charlie, now 86, was content living in a nursing home in Miami, Florida. After meeting Martha Jean, 78, he became happier every day. He finally fell in love with her. He finally steeled himself, dropped to his knees, and told her there were two things we needed to ask her.
Martha Jean smiles and replies, “Okay, ask me.” Charlie, almost sounding like he was in pain, said “Will you marry me?” Very delighted, Martha Jean cried out, “Yes!” She then asked Charlie what her second question was. Charlie managed to squeal, “Martha Jean, could you help me up?”
10. EARLY WITHDRAWAL After testing the habits of 1,000 insurance salesmen who retired in their fifties, these foundations were announced. They spent 10% of their time doing some kind of work, another 10% eating, drinking, or snacking, 35% sleeping or napping, and 45% of their time looking for things they just had a minute ago.
eleven. When is the best time to start thinking about your retirement? Answer: Before your boss does.
12. What does a government retiree miss most about not having a job anymore? Answer: Not being able to call in sick six or seven times a month.
13. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Just one, but give him two or three days to complete the job.
14 “The question is not at what age I want to retire, but with what income.” george foreman
fifteen. “There are a huge number of managers who have retired from the job.” peter drucker
You can find more in a previous article on the best laughable insurance jokes. There is additional material in another article on insurance agent clean jokes.